Yes, please stop watching TV and downloading whatever on the Net (except for Tubularman stuff of course). Regardless of who you voted for, we all lose with this Cap & Trade racket. Don’t let Congress and Obama hand to us the largest tax increase in U.S. History. The taxes (penalties for using…energy) are extortion payments to the Government that do not reduce our dependency for gas or coal. For this upcoming Fourth of July Weekend, I implore you take a brief detour from eating grilled farm animals and attend a local Tea Party! The Tea Parties are non-party specific and not something manifested by Fox News. Come to one and you will see the crowd is comprised of your neighbors and friends. The main message is NO MORE TAXES. This was a promise of Obama during the campaign trail: “I want to take a pledge,” he said. “I pledge that under my plan, no one making less than $250,000 a year will see any type of tax increase. Not income tax, not capital gains taxes, not any kind of tax.” So if you voted for him, he failed you as well. How does $6/gallon of gas grab ya? How about a double or triple increase in your elecrtic bill? What about a $1 here or a $1 there for Carbon Offset Fees? Remember last summer when gas was $4-$5 a gallon and every business was charging a voluntary gas ’surcharge’? Call it whatever you want. A tax is still a tax. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

In other Waxmania News:

“The Congressionally appointed CEO of CitiBank of America resigned after it was revealed that his spouse, head of the Offsets Integrity Advisory Board, had a financial stake in hundreds of the eighteen thousand farms accused of improperly collecting carbon offset payments. Investigators were tipped off when a hacker posted a list showing that farmers collecting payments for “special planting practices” certified by the OIAB to reduce greenhouse gasses were also being paid by a separate Agricultural Department program to keep their land fallow. Remiss compliance inspectors dismissed in the aftermath of the scandal sued for wrongful termination, threatening to lead a general strike of the Federal Environmental Services Employees Union unless they were immediately reinstated with back pay.” [from Bill Frezza, Real Clear Markets]

I know the countless Michael Jackson tributes on TV may have melted your brain over the weekend, but I need to discuss the future of this country (I am referring to The United States of America but I know other readers outside the country read my blog too…Thank you Macedonia what is uuuup!). This will only take a second out of your day then you can get back to watching Billy Jean on YouTube.

While national news over the weekend basically stopped at the shocking news of the King of Pop’s demise, another demise was taking place at Capitol Hill. I won’t bore you with all of the ‘stimulus’ spending already passed by Obama and his Congress. Nor will I pontificate on the upcoming illegal immigrant amnesty bill or the socialized medicine bill. Instead, let’s talk Waxman-Malarkey, er Waxman-Markey. I beg you to just read this little snippet about the Cap and Trade Bill that already passed the House last week while you were watching Beat It for the 20th time:

“The bill’s (Waxman-Markey, or Cap and Trade Bill, or H. R. 2454, or The American Clean Energy and Security Act) proponents talk about protecting consumers while intermittently acknowledging that cap-and-trade can only reduce greenhouse gas emissions by dramatically raising the price of energy derived from coal, oil and natural gas. President Obama said during the campaign last year that “under my plan of a cap-and-trade system, electricity rates would necessarily skyrocket.” Dr. Peter Orszag, now head of the White House Office and Management and Budget, testified last year when he was head of the Congressional Budget Office that “price increases would be essential to the success of a cap-and-trade program.”
-from Myron Ebell

Don’t say I didn’t warn you when gasoline permanently goes to $5/gallon (or higher) and your home and business electric bills ‘skyrocket’. For those of you that voted for any of the Reps who signed this bill, shame on you. For those of you who voted for Obama, double shame on you. There are some nasty laws coming up right behind this treasonous act, but none will affect you so badly in your wallet as this one. I know Obama supporters were swooning over no taxes for the middle class (hell, it was all you had to believe in by Election Day) but your energy costs (taxes) will be going sky high as soon as the Senate gives the stamp of approval. OK, that is all. Go back to watching more celebrity death tributes.

Macedonia…how’s the local economy out there?

The heat index right now in Space City is 108º plus 46% humidity. No rain for several weeks now and my rose garden is near death and the entire neighborhood seems like they gave up on any kind of sprinklers for the grass. Global warming! Take cover!

I am very impressed so far with the crossover so I thought I would start a master index for those of you that would like to read the crossover all the way through. I will update this entry as the story continues to unfold. Thanks to everyone that participated. It is very cool once the story started expanding. Stay tuned here for the dramatic Blue Lotus conclusion!

Blue Lotus begins in The Mighty Tubularman…

Warm Tech Stuff (Blue Lotus first appearance)
A Day At The Microsoft Store (Blue Lotus in background of Panel One)
Anti-Leftist Tactics
Environmentally Insane, Pt. 1 (Blue Lotus referenced in Panel One)
Environmentally Insane, Pt. 6 (Bue Lotus referenced in Panel Three)
You Don’t Know Jackboot (Bue Lotus referenced in Panel Two)

Continues in Failed Objective…

Odds & Ends (The Mighty Tubularman referenced)
Devices (Wade from The Mighty Tubularman calls Tank from Failed Objective)
Where Did He Go?
Stowing The Device (Tank and friends check out the Blue Lotus)
Objectifying Objectives (Dr. Van Brewski and Eco-Man discuss Blue Lotus)
Blue Lotus (The infernal device causes a black out)
Anomoly Detected (Dr. Van Brewski re-activates Prestoman!)
Tracked Down
Enter the Dunder(man)
Dunder vs. Prestoman
Disposed (Prestoman and the Eco-Bots defeat Dunder)
Back to Business (Blue Lotus as a helpful light show)
Blue Things (The Blue Lotus is gone!)

Spins Off in Bitmap World Stories…

Blue Lotus 1 (A mysterious figure has acquired The Blue Lotus!)
Blue Lotus 2 (The code is cracked on The Blue Lotus)
Blue Lotus 3 (The Blue Lotus wrecks havoc on Tubes and the world’s computers)
Blue Lotus 4 (The industrial military complex captures the Blue Lotus and hands off to Dr. Hubris!)

Hands off to Apple of Discord…

Hubris and The Lotus, Part 1 (Dr. Hubris and the General lock up the Blue Lotus)
Hubris and The Lotus, Part 2 (Blue Lotus Behaving Badly)
Hubris and The Lotus, Part 3 (Beyond the Blue Lotus)
Hubris and The Lotus, Part 4 (Bluezilla)

BONUS: Hubris and The Lotus, Part 5

Jumps over to Maskerman…

Strange Machines (The Blue Lotus is transported away)
Shocking! (The Blue Lotus attacks Fluffy!)
Special Ops
Don’t Let The Bedbugs Bite
This Comic Will Self-Destruct (Look out!)
Eye Popping! (The Blue Lotus escapes again!)

The Long-Awaited Blue Lotus Finale Begins July 6th at The Mighty Tubularman!

Boy Blunder (Blue Lotus discussed by Dr. Van Brewski and Prestoman in June 2009 installment)

On the days that I am actually in the mood for a beer (usually only Monday through Sunday) I prefer dark concoctions with some bite to it. However, over the past weekend I found myself poolside battling Satan’s Fire; or what most people refer to as ‘Summer in Houston’. With a heat index in the low 100’s and humidity just short of rainfall,  I knew I needed something to go with my dip in the pool. So I turned to Widmer Brother’s Drifter Pale Ale. It had a slight citrus taste to it that normally would turn me off. But I like Widmer’s other offerings (which are now served at Astros games at Minute Maid Park!) so I decided to give Drifter a shot. I must admit, if you love beer, and find yourself battling fire and brimstone this summer, grab yourself a six-pack (or two) of Widmer Brothers Drifter Pale Ale. I found mine at area Spec’s Liquor Stores, but I have been told that area Krogers are carrying the beer as well. Cheers!

Will the rest of the world ever forgive the United States of America for being such a barbaric, uncaring, empire-building bully? Thankfully, our new President has already led the charge with a slew of apologies on our behalf. Here’s the Top Ten Best Apologies to date:

1. Apology to France and Europe

“Instead of celebrating your dynamic union and seeking to partner with you to meet common challenges, there have been times where America has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive.”
- President Obama, Rhenus Sports Arena, Strasbourg, France, April 3, 2009.

2. Apology to the Muslim World

“My job to the Muslim world is to communicate that the Americans are not your enemy. We sometimes make mistakes. We have not been perfect.”
-President Obama, interview with Al Arabiya, January 27, 2009.

3. Apology to the Summit of the Americas

“While the United States has done much to promote peace and prosperity in the hemisphere, we have at times been disengaged, and at times we sought to dictate our terms.”
-President Obama, Hyatt Regency, Port of Spain, Trinidad and Tobago, April 17, 2009.

4. Apology at the G-20 Summit of World Leaders

“I would like to think that with my election and the early decisions that we’ve made, that you’re starting to see some restoration of America’s standing in the world.”
- President Obama, ExCel Center, London, United Kingdom, April 2, 2009.

5. Apology for the War on Terror

“Instead of strategically applying our power and our principles, too often we set those principles aside as luxuries that we could no longer afford. And during this season of fear, too many of us–Democrats and Republicans, politicians, journalists, and citizens–fell silent. In other words, we went off course.”
-President Obama, National Archives speech, Washington, D.C., May 21, 2009.

6. Apology for Guantanamo in France

“In dealing with terrorism, we can’t lose sight of our values and who we are. That’s why I closed Guantanamo. That’s why I made very clear that we will not engage in certain interrogation practices. I don’t believe that there is a contradiction between our security and our values. And when you start sacrificing your values, when you lose yourself, then over the long term that will make you less secure.”
-President Obama, Rhenus Sports Arena, Strasbourg, France, April 3, 2009.

7. Apology before the Turkish Parliament

“Another issue that confronts all democracies as they move to the future is how we deal with the past. The United States is still working through some of our own darker periods in our history. Facing the Washington Monument that I spoke of is a memorial of Abraham Lincoln, the man who freed those who were enslaved even after Washington led our Revolution. Our country still struggles with the legacies of slavery and segregation, the past treatment of Native Americans.”
- President Obama to the Turkish Parliament, Ankara, Turkey, April 6, 2009.

8. Apology for U.S. Policy toward the Americas

“Too often, the United States has not pursued and sustained engagement with our neighbors. We have been too easily distracted by other priorities, and have failed to see that our own progress is tied directly to progress throughout the Americas. “
- President Obama in the editorial, “Choosing a Better Future in the Americas,” April 16, 2009.

9. Apology for the Mistakes of the CIA

“So don’t be discouraged by what’s happened in the last few weeks. Don’t be discouraged that we have to acknowledge potentially we’ve made some mistakes. That’s how we learn.”
-President Obama to CIA employees, CIA Headquarters, Langley, Virginia, April 20, 2009. The remarks followed the decision to release Office of Legal Counsel memoranda detailing CIA enhanced interrogation techniques used against terrorist suspects.

10. Apology for Guantanamo in Washington

“So the record is clear: Rather than keeping us safer, the prison at Guantanamo has weakened American national security. It is a rallying cry for our enemies.”
-President Obama, National Archives, Washington, D.C., May 21, 2009.

SOURCE
Nile Gardine, Director and Morgan Roach, Research Assistant,
The Margaret Thatcher Center for Freedom at The Heritage Foundation.

Excerpts from this original article.

UPDATE: 6/10/2009: Apology accepted?

Another interesting column this week on the state of superhero films this time it is over at The Wrap.

“So let’s break this down into superheroes and its current trend in film. ‘Superman Returns’, the 2006 Bryan Singer dirge, didn’t fail because audiences no longer resonate with a super being that can fly, shoot heat from his eyes and is immune to bullets. It failed because Superman is the epitome of good morals and justice, which today’s audience find boring and childish.” [Eric Buckman, The Wrap 5/18/09]

I disagree. Though audiences today do seem to like the brooding, vigilante style superhero films seen in Wolverine, Watchmen and Dark Knight, they also crave feel-good superheroes like The Incredibles and Iron Man. The reason Superman Returns wasn’t well-received was simply because the film wasn’t that great.

First of all, the casting was mediocre. Brandon Routh was hired simply for his ability to look and act like the late Christopher Reeve. He was even doing Superman impressions around Hollywood when he was called in. A real reboot would have a completely different style of actor come in to add to the Superman legacy. Perhaps someone older? But Routh did as good as he could do with what was given to him. The Lois Lane casting is the sorest spot of the film for me. No one goes back to planet Earth and pines for an anorexic sourpuss like Kate Bosworth. Eat something! She was so far away from the Lois Lane character that I would have been happy with Parker Posey giving the lead role a shot. The rest of the cast works I suppose. I am a huge fan of Frank Langella and Kevin Spacey. I just wish Kevin Spacey wasn’t such a Hugo Chavez spooner.

Secondly, the direction and writing is just as weak as the lead roles. What is people’s obsession with Bryan Singer anyway? Usual Suspects is fantastic but one film does not a great director make. Oh you liked X-Men you say? Well, I found it slow and boring. By no means is X-Men I up there with the Spider-Man I, Iron Man I and Batman Begins. I’d stick it somewhere between Hulk Reduxe and Fantastic Four. And the writing? Sorry but Lex Luthor had a nefarious real estate plan in Superman The Movie way back in the 70s. All this time in pre-development and firing a dozen writers and that is the only plot Hollywood could come up with for a Superman reboot? When a comic book series has been consistently running every month since the 1930s, you’d think Hollywood would have no problem finding some juicy storylines. And ask any heterosexual male between 12 and 40 and they will tell you the best parts of Superman Returns were the airplane scene and the bank robbery (bullets bouncing off Supe’s eyeballs). Dark Knight had 20+ action scenes as good as the airplane scene in Superman Returns. I’m no mathematician (Hell I can’t even spell it. Thank you spellcheck), but more action = more viewers.

The rest of the failure of Superman Returns is in the details. It shouldn’t be abandoned, but I think there should be some cast changes with the kid getting a Newt treatment for the sequel. Perhaps a story with an older Superman and a better-looking Lois. The Death of Superman storyline from the comics (don’t worry…he returns!) is begging for a big screen adaptation. For more nastiness on the demise of the Superman film franchise, check out the book Superman Vs. Hollywood by Jake Rossen.

Update (5/28/09): Well I have a mini mea culpa to give. Dammit if I didn’t thoroughly enjoy the Tom Cruise Nazi thriller, Valkryie, earlier this week. I knew the story going in and of course we all know the eventual demise of Adolf Hitler. However I couldn’t help but enjoy this entire film about a failed coup and assasination of one Adolf Hitler. In an odd casting choice, remininscent of WWII films of the 60’s, a German Colonel is played with full American accent by Tom Cruise. I actually prefer my American actors to keep their original accents unless they really, really need to change it. Valkryie worked and so did Cruise. Plus you can’t get a better supporting cast today: Tom Wilkinson, Kenneth Branagh, Eddie Izzard, Terrence “Kneel Before Zod!” Stamp and Bill Nighy. Good Lord that is some deep talent. That’s like the 1927 Yankees of Supporting Actors. And the director? Bryan Singer. I had no idea til the end credits. I’m sorry, Mr. Singer. I’m not a big fan of the X-Men series or Superman Returns, but this film delivered. Bravo.

Columnist to the World (and possibly the Universe), Mark Steyn theorizes in a recent bit that Hollywood’s superhero films are Tinseltown’s cop out instead of showing the real heroes and villains in the Theater of War at the local movie theater.

“In the eight years American troops have been fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, the studios have failed to produce a single film on the subject, other than a handful of unwatched flops about rendition and torture.” [Mark Steyn, Macleans 5/14/09]

I agree completely but how does one envision a pro-American war film getting off the ground in today’s anti-American Hollywood culture? Our only chance is that money and profit would win over political philosophies. Now there’s a fresh idea! If that was the case though, CNN would have kept Glenn Beck and The View would be hosted by Ann Coulter. But instead Hollywood pushes out anti-American war movies like Redacted and Syriana which doesn’t quite have the same big cinema blockbuster awesomeness as Iron Man and Dark Knight.

Mr. Big Hollywood Producer looks at the comparables between a big superhero film (let’s say a real one like Wolverine), versus an epic war film where the Americans actually win (let’s call it Kabul:Salvation). Judging by the left-leaning, anti-Bush media these days, Kabul:Salvation set in the modern-day Middle East would have to spend triple the marketing budget of Wolverine just to get positive press on the networks and cable. 24/7 movie ads would be necessary in order to drown out the talking heads droning on and on about torture (by Americans not by terrorists), the Bush Doctrine, Imperialism and whatever else George Soros is telling them to say. The licensing deal would have just as much difficulty since a Kabul:Salvation Chicken Gordita from Taco Bell doesn’t have quite the tasty excitement that a Wolverine Happy Meal would elicit.

“The Tom Clancy novel The Sum of All Fears was about Islamic terrorists, so naturally the cinematic version made them neo-Nazis. The Nicole Kidman yawneroo The Interpreter was originally about Islamic terrorists attacking New York, so naturally they were rewritten into terrorists from the little-known African republic of Matobo. If a thriller’s set on a hijacked plane, the hijacker turns out to be a bespoke minion of some obscure Halliburton subsidiary.” Bemoans Steyn. [Mark Steyn, Macleans, 5/14/09]

Forget the terrorists, who would play the Marines or Army grunts in Kabul: Salvation? Once the actors read the script and see that the American Armed Forces are portrayed (correctly) as actual honest, professional and heroic soldiers from Main Street, U.S.A., the actors will feed the script to the shredder if the agent even accepts the script in the first place. Actors committing to Kabul:Salvation will be the equivalent to the actors being blacklisted during the 40s and 50s for their communist beliefs. No one would hire these new blackballed actors for the films that would earn them accolades during Oscar season.

So you find some actors (probably the understudies from Scary Movie 5 or the final cut from ABC’s Wipeout) but what latte-sipping, left coast socialist director is going to take the helm of a pro-American war film? We already know the left leanings of our favorite directors like Spielberg, De Palma, Stone, Sonnenfeld, Howard, etc. so we know it will be slim pickings. I suppose some up and coming Christian music video director could give it a go. We’ll call him Joe McChristian or McC for short. The film could end up being the next Schindler’s List but McC’s career will start and end with the K:S film’s release. Instead of being another Spielberg, McC would earn the Orsen Welles/Citizen Kane pariah status.

As a side note, I have no idea if the move theaters would be strong-armed by competing studios to reduce the Kabul number of screens for opening weekend. One also wonders what music could be used since even John McCain (a real live war hero) was not even allowed to use a crappy Jackson Browne song during his campaign. He’s been in a prison camp people! Apparently we care more about Gitmo terrorist prisoners than our own. Throw in some Acorn/MoveOn protests on opening weekend at the nation’s multiplexes (if they even allow K:S to be shown in L.A., NYC, or Chicago) and you get a rough idea of how badly Kabul:Salvation would do at the box office. Well at least we have Iron Man 2 to look forward to next summer.

…takes a few days to recover back home. No update for Monday. Between a week in Vegas and Mother’s Day Weekend, I never saw the ol’ drawing board. Tubes comics coming your way soon I promise.

Did anyone see the reboot of Star Trek this weekend? (no spoilers) I give it four out of five stars for sure. This rash of rebooted franchises (i.e. Star Trek, Terminator, 007) could almost be given its own genre alongside Westerns, Drama, Horror and Romantic Comedies Starring Diane Keaton. I was worried the new Star Trek could bomb and be prematurely unbooted to obscurity like Superman Returns. However I am happy to say that Star Trek is more along the lines of Batman Begins. Notice I did not say Dark Knight. The second Star Trek installment will determine if we have a bona fide rebooted franchise on our hands. Without giving anything away, the next Star Trek film will certainly have big shoes to fill as it finds yet even more space adventures with Enterprise and its crew.

Though I have enjoyed at least half of the overall Trek film series, I tend to geek out over Star Wars way more than anything Trek-related (mind you, this new Trek movie gives the Star Wars prequels a run for its money). That is why I was pleasantly surprised as I continue to plow through the DVDs of the clever, yet hardly-noticed Enterprise television series. The Enterprise series (2001-2005) was another reboot of sorts when the Star Trek franchise decided to launch a new TVs series based on the early days of Starfleet and the first ship christened Enterprise (NX-01). Confused yet? The series picks up one hundred years after the film First Contact and I think about 100 years before Kirk and Spock meet. Either way, it is enjoyable and has a lot more action then the previous TV installments. (spoiler alert) The finale of Season 3 involves an alien race attacking Earth and killing 3 million+ humans. So yeah, major detour from earlier shows. Check it out if you can’t wait until Star Trek II: The Re-Wrath of Khan or Star Trek 12 or, hell, now I’m confused. Blah.

No new Tubes this week as I will be in the tiny hamlet of Vegas this week. New Tubes picks up next Monday. But while you wait, we are working on some behind-the-scenes goodies for the website. First, you may have noticed that Tubes is now at www.tubularman.com as it was originally intended. So be sure to switch from satstu.com (Satellite Studios) to tubularman.com for all you subscribers out there. Regardless, Satstu will continue to forward to the new URL. We will also be changing around our schedule this month to bring you more comic goodness throughout the week so stay tuned. I also have a new comics & blog community that I am slowly developing this year for full launch next year. You’ll see some bits and pieces of it in the near future.

In the meantime, I was working last week on a little mosaic containing clips of Tubularman through the years. Last week we marked 19 years of Tubularman’s comic-strip superhero adventures. After perusing my dense archives, I thought it would be cool to show what Tubes looked like over the last two decades. Hard to believe next year will be twenty years. Rock on…Boom